i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
