Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw

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(972): View more from Texas

I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.

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(248): View more from Michigan

we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?

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(650): View more from California

have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.

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