She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
