she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
bring money and cleavage
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
