There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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