I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
