Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
