i think my mom watched the whole time
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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