I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
