DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
