I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
