I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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