It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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