can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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