Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
