I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
