Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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