Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
