You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Randomize
