I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
