Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
