Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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