Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
3 2 1 whiskey
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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