She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
