I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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