he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
