Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
