Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
