Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
