how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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