Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
