Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
