at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize