Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
