Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
