so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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