Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
