Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
