I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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