remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
