I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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