Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
