youre lurking in front of me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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