I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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