So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
