Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
