How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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