Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
