I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
