Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
